This is going to sound really weird and retarded, but here I am opening up my soul to strange world of the internet like an idiot. I already freaked out my boyfriend.
Last night, I was on the phone with Jon when suddenly I felt like I was floating near the ceiling and looking down upon myself. I didn't know who that person was laying in the bed. I didn't know who I was floating. Then all of a sudden, I was the person laying in the bed again and a worm-like stream of colors came bursting toward my face in the dark like it was my soul re-entering my body(O_o?) Even after that I still didn't feel like myself until I turned on my light and could see myself again. When I mean I didn't feel like myself, I felt like I was a person with no name, no history, no knowledge of anything. I just felt like a thing... just there, going through life's repetitive cycles.
( I SWEAR I DON'T USE DRUGS. I SWEAR I WAS NOT DRUNK. )
This then lead me to a bunch of random thoughts like...
...who am I really?
...what am I doing with my life?
Sure, I like many other college students have experienced this on a daily basis, but this... THIS was different. (at least for me)
I began relaying to Jon all these random things I want to do in my life. I began to feel like I haven't really lived nor will I EVER-REALLY-LIVE my life. I'm too scared of just random bullshit and other things.
For once in my life, I truly felt like college wasn't for me. I'm not talking the complaining kind of, "Man, maybe college just isn't for me..." I'm talking about I just wasted my life away with school and will probably continue to waste it away.
Sweet Jesus. I know I'm freaking you out because I am honestly freaked out by this.
It felt like a cliché movie where the girl just packs up and leaves to find herself somewhere. I felt like doing that. Yeah... that's probably it. "Much ado about nothing" or however that saying goes...
It could be a hormonal imbalance... that pint of melted ice cream I ate... that candy I found in my bookbag... a sign from God? O_O?
Man, I AM WEIRD. I'll just shrug it off.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Material Love
I figured since I'm 22 it's time to let go of my infamous Wallet :'( I bought a new "grown-up" wallet. It's one of those clip thingie kind of wallet that EVERYONE seems to have. I finally found one with a print that I'm actually in love with :) I think I'll keep my other one in handy though. You know, just in case :P It's cream colored with embossed roses? I think that's the correct terminology? Meh, oh well.
I got one of those infamous Nalgene water bottles because I left my other water bottle at home. I like it because I can monitor how much water I intake on a daily basis :D I bought one for Jon too so we can be environmentally friendly together, YAY haahahaa
I finally got a black belt... hmm. That's about it for that one. I just needed one because a black shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes do not go with a brown belt -_-'
...and last but not least, I got an ipod touch :D Add me on Twitter (GreenJeanine)! Rose Ann made me join it. I have a lot of random applications, but I suppose I'll save that for another blog.
Culture Show this upcoming Saturday. Proving to myself that I am Filipino O_o? I have a minor role and I sound ridiculous. I hate my voice. I think it's too high pitched.
Later days.
Library, here I come.
I got one of those infamous Nalgene water bottles because I left my other water bottle at home. I like it because I can monitor how much water I intake on a daily basis :D I bought one for Jon too so we can be environmentally friendly together, YAY haahahaa
I finally got a black belt... hmm. That's about it for that one. I just needed one because a black shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes do not go with a brown belt -_-'
...and last but not least, I got an ipod touch :D Add me on Twitter (GreenJeanine)! Rose Ann made me join it. I have a lot of random applications, but I suppose I'll save that for another blog.
Culture Show this upcoming Saturday. Proving to myself that I am Filipino O_o? I have a minor role and I sound ridiculous. I hate my voice. I think it's too high pitched.
Later days.
Library, here I come.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Blog Blog Blog
I still don't understand this blogspot thing. I am very tempted to convert back to Xanga.
Lent is here.
- no wasting more than 30 minutes on the computer sunday-thursday, that is if i have hw or something due
- dedicate at least 5 hrs to lab a week
- for every cuss word that comes out of my mouth I will donate money to FACT's charity
- no naruto! :X
- O_O'
I have more than one in case the other fails.
March is here! RAWR! In like a lion, out like a lamb.
I just found out about the Nintendo DSi last night and I'm SUPER EXCITED!!! ^_^ *SQUEAL* haahahaa Since it doesn't play GBA games, I think I'll keep my nintendo ds lite... then again, I still have my GBA sp (and my pocket gb :P)
I'm going back to my Filipino roots... as in, I'm in their culture show this year :P I have a very minor role. COME OUT! April 4!
I'm going to Pennsylvania later this month for a rugby game.
I'm getting old...
That's about it...
If you're bored, go to www.fmylife.com! HILARIOUS! :P
Lent is here.
- no wasting more than 30 minutes on the computer sunday-thursday, that is if i have hw or something due
- dedicate at least 5 hrs to lab a week
- for every cuss word that comes out of my mouth I will donate money to FACT's charity
- no naruto! :X
- O_O'
I have more than one in case the other fails.
March is here! RAWR! In like a lion, out like a lamb.
I just found out about the Nintendo DSi last night and I'm SUPER EXCITED!!! ^_^ *SQUEAL* haahahaa Since it doesn't play GBA games, I think I'll keep my nintendo ds lite... then again, I still have my GBA sp (and my pocket gb :P)
I'm going back to my Filipino roots... as in, I'm in their culture show this year :P I have a very minor role. COME OUT! April 4!
I'm going to Pennsylvania later this month for a rugby game.
I'm getting old...
That's about it...
If you're bored, go to www.fmylife.com! HILARIOUS! :P
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